Comfort's Such a Privilege
by TheConjuringMind
Summary: "Comfort's such a privilege in my life," he told her. "and I'm just giving it to you, freely. You haven't the slightest idea how thoughtful I'm being right now, and you can't possibly appreciate it." KyloXRey. Reylo.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - Got this random scenario in my head and thought I'd share it. If people show interest, I might expand on it, but for now this is all I have.**

 **Spoilers ahead, proceed with caution.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.**

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"What's wrong?" he asked, his deep voice penetrating her thoughts and reverberating around in her head.

It seemed he always popped up via their connection at the most inconvenient of times, and now was no exception.

Lying lazily on her cot, exhausted from yet another long day's training with Luke, she opened her eyes to see his figure appear before her from across the room.

"Nothing," she said shortly, cheeks flushing in embarrassment as she turned over on her side, and pulled the blanket up to her shoulders to avoid facing him.

"Don't lie to me," he said, kneeling down at her bedside. "It's fruitless."

Sighing in defeat, she rolled back over to face him. All intentions of avoiding him fleeing to the back of her mind.

"I can't sleep," she admitted shamefully, all at once feeling small and lost, like a little child. It embarrassed her to have to admit it to herself, let alone to him, and she expected nothing in response other than a snide remark. But to her surprise, she received none.

Instead he asked;

"What's troubling you?" the slightest hint of concern in his voice.

Her eyes shied away from his, and she started pulling at the thread-bear fabric of the blanket that covered her.

"I don't want to talk about it..."

"No?" he pressed further, keeping his eyes locked on hers, despite her refusing to acknowledge his close presence.

Silence. She didn't say anything now.

 _Blast,_ how it tortured him when she didn't answer.

When she closed her eyes, his shifted to her arms and body.

Something was a bit off about her position. It wasn't her preferred sleeping side. He'd seen her sleep many nights before (though she was unaware of his watching her) and she never once slept on her left.

He inspected her alignment further, and found that she was gripping the covers tightly. Her legs were curled up to her chest, and her eyebrows were furrowed.

She looked small and scared. Childish and afraid. But what he noticed most of all was the slight shivering. The slight shaking of her limbs that gave her away.

"You're trembling," he observed, causing her eyes to open.

"I'm cold." She deflected, though not too convincingly.

He paused for a moment, then allowed his eyes to glaze over her. His hands slowly pulled back her covers on the cot, and she stared at him, wide-eyed, but lacked the strength she needed to protest.

"Move," he instructed her casually, lying down beside her and causing her to stiffen at his close proximity. It wasn't until he settled himself completely that she was able to relax a little and breathe.

But as much as she wanted to push him away from her, she couldn't. Despite the feeling being strange and unprecedented, it felt right. Almost as if he... _belonged_ beside her, if that made sense.

He brought a gloved hand to her forehead, and felt a chill surge through him. Though she _was_ cold, he could feel it, he knew that that wasn't entirely the reason for her trembling, and so felt no shame in asking;

"Is that all?"

"No." She swallowed uncomfortably, looking at him in her peripheral vision as she turned over to lessen the strange tension in the air between them.

Silence again.

Why did she do this to him?

He sighed, and stared at the ceiling.

She had no idea how undignified it was for him to be lying beside her (even if it did bring him some satisfaction), for it was very _un_ -Sith-like to take pity on a Rebel supporting scum, but he was being chivalrous, and so expected at least an _acknowledgement_ for his effort.

But she gave him nothing.

"Comfort's such a privilege in my life," he told her. "and I'm just giving it to you, freely. You haven't the slightest idea how thoughtful I'm being right now, and you can't possibly appreciate it."


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you Faith Callaway, TheNappingKoala, starspangledfeels, howlongbeforeyoutalkaboutsand, La Merwaffle, fangirlkitten02, Ivorbeck, Nikkette, Rabitz, and Virte for reviewing! And everyone that gave this story a favorite and/or follow. I _really_ appreciate it. You are all so kind. And, you all inspired me to write more. So, without further ado...  
**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.**

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"I just...don't know how to respond to it..." She said quietly, avoiding his gaze. "I don't understand it. No one's ever cared for my well-being before, it's.. _.new_ , to say the least..." she drifted off, leaving her thought incomplete. But he seemed to know what she was thinking, or somehow relate to what she was feeling, because he nodded silently at her, as if in understanding.

Silence enveloped them once again, but it wasn't uncomfortable this time. It was.. _.peaceful_ , almost. Like for the moment they were actually contented with each other's company. Like they didn't feel bothered or intruded on.

And then he decided to talk again. Be it because he felt awkward, or because another thought had suddenly struck him, she didn't know. But it bewildered her that he was capable of speaking so quietly, given that his voice was relatively deep and his temper often caused him to have trouble controlling his tone.

This time, however, he seemed more gentle. More concerned.

If he ever genuinely was concerned, for that matter. Sometimes it was hard to tell.

"You're scared," he stated more than asked, causing her to feel a bit self-conscious about herself and her feelings. It made her worry as to whether or not she wore her emotions on her sleeve, or if she was able to keep them hidden, but not well enough where he couldn't find them.

"Why?"

She turned over on her side, and looked him in the eyes now. His face was only inches away from hers, and if they were actually lying across from each other, as opposed to being in each other's visions through their connection, she would've felt the subtle fanning of air from his breath as he exhaled in front of her. In fact, she almost swore she could, even now.

"I don't know if I can do this..." she said finally. Though her answer was vague, he knew that she was subtly referring to her training with Luke, and her slow understanding of how to wield The Force.

A strange look crossed his face, one she could not place, and then his eyes lit with what she could only construe as irritation or hostility.

 _"Then don't."_ he told her, notably more callous this time.

She flinched briefly in turn, but was quickly embarrassed by her actions. She knew that he wouldn't and couldn't (to the best of her knowledge) hurt her, and felt guilty about responding so poorly. But she couldn't find it in herself apologize to him, due to her pride.

Once Ben had realized what he'd done, and caught the brief look of terror that crossed her face the second he let his temper slip through, he recognized his error, and immediately regretted it.

So, burying his tendency for opposition, he softened his voice the second time around, so as not to scare her, and hastily added; "You don't have to. I'll teach you."

It was a kind offer, she realized, but a misleading one at that. And therefore, she couldn't possibly accept it.

She wouldn't have minded having him for a teacher (he seemed to be able to relate with her on some odd level, and if she were being completely honest with herself she didn't dislike his company entirely), but he _was_ vested in darkness. Even if she _did_ still see light somewhere inside him. And she feared that if she joined him, or allowed herself to be taught by him in his current state, that the darkness would consume her as well. And that, she knew, wouldn't bode well for either of them.

So there was nothing she could do but decline.

"No," she shook her head lightly. "I have to try. I can't give up. I mustn't."

She half expected her refusal to trigger a worse reaction out of Ben. But after his latest outburst's reception from her, his normally quick temper seemed to cease, and quell itself all at once. If not for his lack of energy to argue with someone, then purely for her welfare. Because she couldn't possibly think of another reason.

His eyes searched hers for a moment, as if he was trying to interpret her thoughts. But when he saw nothing but her determination and unwavering faith, he decided to retreat from them.

"What are you hoping to accomplish?" he asked.

"I think I can save y - " His eyes widened slightly at her implication, and she stopped mid-sentence and shook her head.

But he wasn't going to let it go, not now. He had to know for certain.

He had to hear her finish.

"Save what?" he challenged, though not bitterly this time.

"Nevermind, it was foolish of me to think..." she trailed off. But in all truth she didn't believe that. She knew that he could be saved. She _felt_ it.

He nodded slightly in understanding. If she was too embarrassed to say it, that was fine. He wasn't going to press her any further. He knew what she meant, anyhow. And he supposed that was enough for him. For now.

Carefully removing the short half of blanket that he occupied from his person, he sat himself upright on her cot, and turned to face the other way.

"Nobody can save me," he told her calmly, leaning over and looking down at his gloved hands between his knees.

She had to bite her tongue in order to prevent from bursting out; _'That's not true!'._ But knowing that he wouldn't listen, or perhaps fearing that she wasn't right, she stayed silent.

"Don't waste your time. It'll be much easier for you if you can accept that. I already have."

And with that he stood, and retreated from her quarters. Leaving in a haze of blurry lines as their connection was abruptly severed.

And she lie there, lost in deep thought, as she tried to mull over what had just occurred.

The cold began to engulf her at of the absence of his body beside hers, and she once again started to shiver.

It didn't make any sense. She shouldn't have been able to feel his warmth. She shouldn't have been able to feel his breath fan against her skin as he exhaled. And yet, she swore she could. She _knew_ she could.

And if she could feel that, all just from their connection; What else could she feel? She wondered.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: My goodness...this past month has been completely hectic. But I'm happy to have finally finished this chapter (I've been working on it off and on for weeks). Sorry for the wait. I hope that you all have had a fairly decent month, and are in good health.**

 **Enjoy.  
**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.**

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 _"Rey?"_

She heard the whisper in her head.

It was faint, and hurried, and undeniably desperate.

She knew right away who it was, and right away that he needed her, but she faltered a moment before returning the call. She wasn't sure if the severity of his situation was legitimate, or if it was merely bait to get her to come crawling to him, but she couldn't resist the pull that it had on her, or the weight that it made her feel. For some indescribable reason she felt vaguely responsible for his well-being, if not curious as to what was troubling him, and decided to intensify their connection.

In but a moment, she was pulled from her own surroundings and thrust into his general vicinity. Though she couldn't make out exactly where he was, she could see a scarce few objects that surrounded and enveloped him, and knew well enough that he was lying down, fast asleep, presumably in his own quarters.

A quiet gasp escaped her lips, and she brought a quick hand to her mouth to silence herself.

The last thing that she wanted was for him to wake up, given that he'd more than likely contacted her unconsciously, and she doubted that he actually wanted to see her. Especially given his current state of appearance. For he wasn't clothed like he usually was, but his torso was bare and exposed, as the blanket on top of him covered only that of his waist and below, and it unnerved her to see him looking so vulnerable and susceptible to harm.

At once she turned away from the sight and closed her eyes, hoping to finally sever their connection and be returned to her current location. Only to have no such luck.

It was strange, really; though she was never really in control of initiating such sessions of their bond, she seemed to always be able to end them if she desired, and it made no sense that she wasn't able to now. Perhaps somehow, subconsciously, she truly didn't want to leave him, and therefore couldn't. But she didn't knowingly feel an eagerness to stay put.

Standing there, watching him, she felt uneasy. It was hard to explain, but she felt like she was intruding on a terribly personal moment in his life, and was too bemused by his appearance to be considerate of it. Granted, he had intruded on a few private moments of her own without her consent, but then again she had never brought it to his attention, or voiced her discomfort.

The last vision she'd had of him lying down beside her on her cot danced in her head, and she had to force herself to eradicate it from her mind. He had shown concern for her then, and had even supplied her with comfort, much to her surprise. But she was so caught off guard by the divulging of his chivalry, and the fact that he had more emotions than just anger and indifference, that she hadn't known the correct way to respond.

She had called him a monster before, and she'd thought she had meant it.

But seeing the young man now, lying before her on a bed much more comfortable-looking than her own, it seemed that she was mistaken.

He didn't look weathered or conflicted. He looked youthful and at peace.

Stepping closer to his form, purely out of curiosity, she reached out a cautious hand, and touched his forehead.

Immediately she felt a calming warmth surge through her being, and an electricity that she couldn't even begin to describe starting to flicker throughout her fingertips.

 _What was this?_

She could only wonder.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Guess who's back? Back again? :D [I'll love it if someone can finish this line for me]  
**

 **Nope..?**

 **...No one?**

 **Okay... T_T  
**

 **Sorry about the wait.  
**

 **This chapter is dedicated to all of you awesome followers out there with the patience of saints; Ailimem, Alina Liliana Popa, CaptainSwan123, Celia Wroth, Cyber Rogue, Faith Callaway, safayi, FanGirlMom, Fangirl2213, FashionableRaid, Goblin Girl's Cast Members, Heartless Romantics, I'm a Noun, JT1997,**

 **KF-TheBibliothecary, Katatonic97, Kerowyn Herald-Captain, La Merwaffle, LadyEveangeline, MissMintCoffeeMocha, NeverBetAgainstMe9, OutlawQueen2012, Sophia95, Tomita007, Torry-Riddle, Virte, ashcandoanything, fangirl34567, fangirlkitten02, , howlongbeforeyoutalkaboutsand, if16atix, , kromjoggom,**

 **Ivorbeck, monalisalgp, morverenstorm, musicalcat93, pianoforte216, shadowbella987, the fan of fairys, violakatelyn, yovo17, Rabitz, Nikkette, starspangledfeels, and TheNappingKoala. Let me know if I missed anyone (or misspelled your name)! You guys are great.  
**

 **Enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.**

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He looked so young when he slept, she observed, and it was hard for her to believe that he was the same man she had fought in the forest, as well as the same man that had killed his own father. The latter thought made her shudder as she stared down at his unguarded face, and felt a strange sort of energy pass through them.

Still, there was something almost... _innocent_ about him, dare she say. Something truly vulnerable.

She watched in silence as he began to toss from one side, and then to the other.

"No, no, no..." he muttered to himself in his sleep, a sorrowful undertone in his voice.

Creeping ever closer to him out of concern, she sat on the edge of his bed, and placed a gentle hand upon his shoulder. She hoped that the contact would wake him, but found no such luck. So she put both her hands upon him now, and shook, ever so carefully, as he continued to toss and turn.

"Father..." he spoke sorrowfully, his brows furrowed and his face creasing in pain. Rey knew at once what was happening, and wrapped her arms around him out of instinct, unmistakably feeling the heat and sweat emitting from his shaking body.

He was no longer sleeping peacefully as she had first witnessed, but was suffering an awful nightmare. One where he re-lived the reluctant killing of his father, over and over again, for the sake of earning his Master's respect.

She saw it clearly through his eyes, almost as if the experience had been her own, and felt the pain in which he'd garnered for following through with the detestable act like they shared one mind. The emotions he had swirled out of him and into her, and she immediately became overwhelmed with despair.

He _had_ regretted killing his father, she now knew. No matter how much he tried to justify and deny it. And the depth of his pain for doing so ran so deep, that even _she_ felt suffocated by it.

Her arms were wrapped around him more tightly now. But she couldn't tell if it were meant to be comfort for him or herself. His feelings were so powerful and easily transmitted into her head that she nearly believed that they were feelings of her own.

She'd never connected with him on a level so intense before, and this new anomaly was beginning to take its toll on both of them.

Then, all of the sudden and without a moments notice, he bolted upright in his bed, and screamed.

"NO!"

His hands reached for the first thing he could grab - which consequently happened to be Rey - and he pulled her body closer to his person, his arms encircling her as thoughtlessly as if she were one of his pillows.

After his quick outburst, he came to. Gasping and sputtering inaudible words to himself.

Rey shook slightly against him, but refused to let his trembling figure go.

She'd experienced horrific visions like this before, when she'd first touched Luke's lightsaber. But nothing had been as strong and intense as the images she'd seen when she held onto him.

They were both quiet for a while. The sounds of him and her both trying to catch their breath the only noise to be heard. But once they had succeeded, there was nothing but silence.

She sat there, frozen. Unsure of what to do, or whether to move. And decided to wait for him to tell her.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Question; Do you prefer long chapters or short ones?**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.**

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She didn't say anything, for fear that her acknowledgement of what took place might upset him. But she stared up at his mess of tangled raven hair, and felt nothing but concern for him. Surprising even herself with her emotions.

He _had_ comforted _her_ in a desperate time of need, she reasoned. And it was her turn, she had felt, to return the favor.

It wasn't until Ben had fully calmed down that he noticed his 'pillow' was breathing against him. And he soon discovered that he wasn't holding one of his bedside cushions, but Rey's body. Her head crushed into his bare chest, and her breath tickling his skin.

He shifted slightly in her grasp after a while. Like he had only just realized that her arms were wrapped around him as well, and wasn't sure how to react. But he made no move to untangle her from him, and she made no move to do so either.

They were both shell-shocked, it seemed. Unable to comprehend what had occurred, unable to process.

Gradually her arms began to tire, and she brought them down to rest at her sides. But he didn't allow himself to remove the arms that _he_ had subconsciously let encircle _her_. And if she didn't know any better, she might think that his holding onto her gave him some sort of comfort. In fact, it almost felt as if he was holding onto her for dear life.

It was a while before he spoke, and every second that he didn't built up awkwardness and tension. But by the time he decided to break the silence, so did she, and both managed to do nothing but talk over the other.

"What are you doing here -"

"- I'm sorry."

Slowly (and awkwardly) he began to remove his arms from her torso - per his realization of her discomfort and his unnerving lack of it - and when she pulled back from him to reveal her face, he flinched and released her.

He was immediately embarrassed and caught off guard, and had no clue as to how he should act or respond.

Rey swallowed and looked away from him. Partially out of embarrassment for herself, but mostly out of respect of privacy for him.

She doubted that he wanted her to see him without his upper half covered. And even if he didn't mind, she couldn't say that _she_ felt comfortable with it.

Ben stared silently at her for a couple moments, trying hard to process what had occurred. Eventually he managed to find his voice, and he asked;

"What did you see?"

Heat quickly flooded her cheeks, and she had to keep her gaze on the hazy outline of the floor in order to prevent from choking up.

"Nothing, if you didn't want me to," she shook her head furiously, feeling as tightly wound as a coil.

"Why are you here?" his deep voice echoed in her head. His tone surprisingly soft, considering the circumstances.

"I heard you," she swallowed. "Yelling, calling out for someone. I thought it was me, so I came."

"You _came,_ " he stated more than asked, like he was mulling the fact over in his head.

She nodded, and turned to look at him. Only for his eyes to shy away from hers.

Silence enveloped them once again. Although this time it was much longer, and harder to stand.

Every second felt like an hour, and every minute felt like a year.

She started to wonder if what she had said was wrong, or not to his liking. But knew better than to try and take it back.

"Ben?" she inquired after a while. Getting those brown orbs to meet hers, and bringing a comforting hand to his shoulder.

The contact, however, only made him feel more mortified than he already was. So he shook it off and rose from his spot on the bed.


End file.
